Mad #450 February 2005
- Cover Artist: Mark Fredrickson
- Contents Page (1)
- "Your parents are right when they say they won't always be there to fight your battles for you - that's because they'll be
the ones you're fighting against!" -- Alfred E. Neuman
- Letters (photos from the Aaron's 312 NASCAR Race held at Atlanta Motor Speedway, Oct. 30, 2004 in which Mad sponsored two cars) (photo of Jason Ritter, Joe Mantegna, Amber Tamblyn, Mary Steenburgen, Michael Welch with #440) (2-4)
- Sergio Aragones Drawn-Out Dramas
**various places around the magazine
- Steve Madden Football (ad parody)
(written by Dave Croatto / Jack Syracuse art) (6-7)
- The Fundalini Pages (Charles Akins, Ray Alma, Tom
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Cheney, Dick DeBartolo, Desmond Devlin, Evan Dorkin,
Garth Gerhart, Al Jaffee, Jeff Kruse, Barry Liebmann, Patrick Merrell,
Kevin Pope, Mike Snider, Jack Syracuse)
(IMPORTANT NOTE) (8-10)
- Celebrity Cause of Death Betting Odds -
Terrell Owens (written by Mike Snider / Jack Syracuse art)
- Magazine Corrections You May Have Missed -
Ganymede is a moon of Jupiter, not Saturn (written by Jeff Kruse)
- Bitterman - first-date chauffeur (Garth Gerhart)
- The Puzzle Nook - "Stop the ---sses!" (Patrick Merrell)
- Patent of the Month - self-cleaning in-seat toilet for airline passengers (Al Jaffee)
- Pull My Cheney! - borrowing the kitchen knife after a murder (Tom Cheney)
- Fundalini Foto News: Tara Reid's Wardrobe Malfunction
- Celebrity New Year's Resolutions That Have Already Been Broken (Charles Akins art)
- Monkeys Are Always Funny - The Assassination of President Lincoln (Evan Dorkin)
- Melvin & Jenkins' Guide to Hospital Visits (written by Desmond Devlin / Kevin Pope art)
- Little Known Post-2004 Election Statistics (Ray Alma art)
- Ad for Peter Kuper's Sticks and Stones and Metamorphosis books (11)
- Two and a Half Wits (TV satire) (written by Arnie Kogen / Tom Richmond art) (12-16)
- 6 Degrees of Separation Between Anyone and Anything - Part VIII
(written by Mike Snider / Rick Tulka art) (18-19)
- Viewing Guide to Super Bowl Halftime Counterprogramming
(written by Desmond Devlin / Drew Friedman art) (22-24)
- Duke Bissell's Tales of Undisputed Interest -- a roach in the salad (P. C. Vey) (25)
- Spy vs. Spy 2005 Calendar (Peter Kuper art) (26,31)
- Broadcast Highlights and Innovations to Watch For in Super Bowl XXXIX (John Caldwell) (32-35)
- Spy vs. Spy - boat and plane slingshot double-play (Peter Kuper) (36-37)
- A Mad Look at The Incredibles (Sergio Aragones) (38-41)
- Suggested Titles for the Next Indiana Jones Movie
(written by Matthew A. Cohen / Hermann Mejia art) (42-43)
- A Series of Unfortunate Outtakes from Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events (44-46)
- Monroe and... the Swap (written by Anthony Barbieri / Bill Wray art) (47-50)
- Which Simpsons Character is Gay? (written by Desmond Devlin / Gary Hallgren art) (51-53)
- Lines Cut From George W. Bush's 2005 Inauguration Speech
(written by Jeff Kruse / Sam Sisco art) (54-55)
- Another Morning on Fifth Avenue (written by Don (Duck) Edwing / Paul Coker, Jr. art) (56)
- Fold-In -- What controversial transportation issue has politicians in an uproar? (Al Jaffee) (C3)
- Back Cover -- Spy vs. Spy Ad for Mountain Dew (C4)
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