MAD #440 — April 2004

"Most parents' idea of "sound advice" is suggesting that you shut up!" — Alfred E. Neuman

Contents

• Contents Page
  1
• Letters and Tomatoes Dept.

  Notes

  • MAD notes the passing of George Woodbridge Jan 20th
  2, 4, 6
• Chia Head of State (ad parody)

  Weapons of Grass Destruction Dept.

  Written by Charlie Kadau / Art by Timothy Shamey / Saddam sculpture by Liz Lomax

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • MAD Dumps on Trump and other Unlikeable Leaders! — Special Collector's Edition 2018
  5 sample
• Drawn-Out Dramas

  Marginal Thinking Dept.

  Sergio Aragones
  (various places around the magazine)
• The Fundalini Pages

  Random Acts of Mindless Dept.

  Friends of Fundalini Notes

  • "Friends of Fundalini" list of contributors not originally attached to the articles in this section: Scott Bricher, Tom Bunk, John Caldwell, Tom Nick Cocotos, Paul Coker, Jr., Dick DeBartolo, Desmond Devlin, Evan Dorkin, Garth Gerhart, Gary Hallgren, Jeff Kruse, Barry Liebmann, Scott Maiko, Kevin Pope, Mike Snider, Jack Syracuse, P. C. Vey — DETAILS

  • MAD's Exclusive Transcript of Britney Spears' and Jason Alexander's Wedding Vows — Art by Tom Bunk
  • Melvin & Jenkins' Guide to Television — Written by Desmond Devlin / Art by Kevin Pope
  • Classified Ads
  • Monkeys Are Always Funny — Hindenburg disaster — Evan Dorkin
  • Celebrity Cause of Death Betting Odds — Simon Cowell — Written by Mike Snider / Art by Jack Syracuse
    Reprinted in 1 collection

    • MAD #43 — June 2025
  • Videogame Corner — Things You Won't Overhear at the Next Videogame Convention — Written by Jeff Kruse
  • Going to the Caldwell Once Too Often — proper brass pole technique — John Caldwell
  • Graphic Novel Review — Te-Di-Um! Legendary Legend of the Legend by Secun-Rate Hak — Written by Desmond Devlin / Art by Gary Hallgren
  • The Godfrey Report
  • What's Pete Rose Betting On This Month? — Art by Paul Coker, Jr.
  • The Martha Stewart Trial — The Case For & Against — Art by Tom Nick Cocotos
  • Best Sellers Cut Down to Size — Bill O'Reilly — Who's Looking Out For You?
  • Vey To Go — bedside visitors — P. C. Vey
  • Bitterman — wouldn't be caught dead at a place like Disneyworld — Garth Gerhart
  8–10
• Ad for taking MAD's survey
  11
• Bored of the Rings: Rehash of the Thing (movie satire)

  Kicking the Hobbit Dept.

  Written by Desmond Devlin / Art by Hermann Mejia

  Reprinted in 3 collections

  • MAD About the Movies — Director's Cut — 2008
  • Intensely Dumb MAD — 2013
  • MAD Presents Oscar Winners (and Losers!) — Special Collector's Edition 2016
  12–17
• Is Your Mom's New Boyfriend a Keeper or a Loser?

  Choose Your Daddy Dept.

  John Caldwell
  18–20
• Spy vs. Spy — helicopter and truck snipper arms

  Joke and Dagger Dept.

  Peter Kuper

  Reprinted in 2 collections

  • Spy vs. Spy 2 — The Joke and Dagger Files — 2007
  • Spy vs. Spy — The Top Secret Files — 2011
  21–22
• Survivor: World Leaders

  Some Nations, Under Clods Dept.

  Written by Joe Raiola / Art by Sam Sisco

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • MAD Dumps on Trump and other Unlikeable Leaders! — Special Collector's Edition 2018
  24–25
• A MAD Look at Exams

  Serge-In General Dept.

  Sergio Aragones
  26–29
• MAD's Trumped-Up Scenes from The Apprentice

  Donald Yuck Dept.

  Written by and video captures by Mike Snider

  Reprinted in 4 collections

  • Extremely Moronic MAD — 2012
  • MAD Dumps on Trump and other Unlikeable Leaders! — Special Collector's Edition 2018
  • MAD #26 — August 2022
  • MAD Treasure Trove of Trash — Vol. 2 — Aug/Sept 2022
  30–31
• Duke Bissell's Tales of Undisputed Interest —
  plumbing repair / awakening from coma

  The Wizard of Odd Dept.

  P. C. Vey
  32
• MAD's Suggestions for Improving American Idol

  Don't Have a Cowell Dept.

  Written by Greg Leitman / Art by Tom Richmond

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • MAD Classics #21 — April 2008
  34–35
• Monroe and... Survivor Jr. — Part 3

  Angster's Paradise Dept.

  Written by Anthony Barbieri / Art by Bill Wray
  36–38
• MAD's Etiquette Guide to Spring Break

  March Manners Dept.

  Written by Butch D'Ambrosio / Art by Amanda Conner

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • MAD Classics #25 — May 2009
  39–41
• MAD's Simply Dreadful Outtakes from American Idol

  MAD Cowell Disease Dept.

  Written by and video captures by Mike Snider

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • MAD Classics #21 — April 2008
  42–43
• Joan of Archaic (TV satire)

  Hollywood and Divine Dept.

  Written by Josh Gordon / Art by Mort Drucker
  44–48
• Fold-In — What competition will all eyes soon be focused on?

  Al Jaffee

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • The MAD Fold-In Collection 1964–2010 — 2011
  C3