Mad #244 January 1984
- Cover Artist: Richard Williams
- Warped Games (Movie Satire)
- Artist: Mort Drucker / Writer: Larry Siegel
- Sample: "...I'm a senior at Malibu High School, studying Advanced Body Surfing and Intermediate Boozing!"
- Bedsheet Signs We'll Never See on TV
- Artist: Bob Clarke / Writer: Tom Koch
- Sample: "Mr. Cosell's hairpiece furnished by Cuddly Collie Breeding Kennels"
- Don Martin -- One Morning in the Dungeon Room
- Description: Man in dungeon says "Goodbye" with a gun shot.
- Don Martin -- One Afternoon in the School Room
- Description: Boys beat up troublemaker after he slingshots good-looking teacher in the behind.
- Don Martin -- One Evening in the Living Room
- Description: Brick-thrower send apology with second brick about the first brick thrown through a window.
- Antonio Prohias -- Spy vs. Spy
- Description: "You Are Here" directions to death.
- Macho is...
- Artist: Paul Coker / Writer: Tom Koch
- Sample: "...taking your lunch along to the theatre so you can make a point of eating it with gusto while you watch 'The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.'"
- Paul Peter Porges -- Multiple Choice TV Scene Test
- Description: Same TV scene, three possible descriptions to choose from.
- All-Inclusive "Monday Night Football" Betting Pool
- Artist: Jack Davis / Writer: Mike Snider
- Description: Other options for people to bet on besides the final score.
- Famous Quotations and How the People Back Then Reacted to Them
- Artist: Harry North / Writer: Frank Jacobs
- Description: "...travel back in time and see how folks in years gone by responded to words of wisdom, hope and courage."
- Asinine to Five (TV Satire)
- Artist: Angelo Torres / Writer: Dick De Bartolo
- Sample: "Gee, the TV audience at home doesn't care about women's equality at the office!"
- Do-It-Yourself "Jingle Bells"
- Writer: Frank Jacobs
- Sample: "Passed out in the snow in a black lace negligee..."
- History of Communication
- Artist: George Woodbridge / Writer: Larry Siegel
- Description: From cavemen verbal communication to the television.
- Will You Make a Good Teacher?
- Artist: George Woodbridge / Writer: Frank Jacobs
- Sample: "You discover that one-fourth of your class is failing a required subject. What should you do?"
- You Know You're in a Second Marriage When...
- Artist and Writer: Lloyd Gola
- Sample: "...you are horrified to discover that your second husband is actually starting to make your first husband look good."
- Psycho, Too (Movie Satire)
- Artist: Mort Drucker / Writer: Dick De Bartolo
- Sample: "Abnormal, how come your shower has three faucets?"
"One is for 'cold'... one is for 'hot'... and one is for 'blood'!"
- Al Jaffee -- Fold-In
- "What kind of weather report can chill you to the bone?"
- Back Cover
- Artist: Don Martin / Writer: Don Edwing
- Description: Lunchbox pop-up clown sends construction worker off steel girder.
Sample quotes and cover art are copyrighted by E.C. Publications and Mad Magazine.
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