MAD #497 — January 2009

"Many students believe originality means being the first to plagiarize an author's work!" — Alfred E. Neuman

Contents

• Contents Page
  1
• Letters and Tomatoes Dept.

  Notes

  • Joe Biden with MAD #495
  2,4,6
• Drawn-Out Dramas

  Marginal Thinking Dept.

  Sergio Aragones
  (various places around the magazine)
• The Fundalini Pages

  Random Acts of Mindless Dept.

  Friends of Fundalini Notes

  • "Friends of Fundalini" list of contributors not originally attached to the articles in this section: Scott Bricher, Tom Bunk, Pete Croatto, Dick DeBartolo, Garth Gerhart, Jeff Kruse, Kevin Pope, Adam Rust, P. C. Vey — DETAILS

  • Practical Uses for Your Gas-Guzzling SUVs — Adam Rust
    Reprinted in 1 collection

    • Intensely Dumb MAD — 2013
  • Celebrity Cause-of-Death Betting Odds — Jessica Alba
  • Food Myths You Just Shouldn't Believe — Written by Jeff Kruse / Art by Kevin Pope
  • Vey To Go! — paying classmates — P. C. Vey
    Reprinted in 1 collection

    • Totally Useless MAD — 2013
  • Video Game Review — Guitar Tech Hero — Written by Pete Croatto
  • Bitterman — boy scout tries to return found wallet — Garth Gerhart — sample
  • Signs Your Bank is in Big Trouble — Art by Tom Bunk
  • Where the $750 Billion Government Bailout Funds are Going
  8–10
• The MAD 20 Dumbest People, Events and Things of 2008

  (introduction page)

  Featuring /

  • 1. Sarah Palin — “Clueless” (Clue board game parody) — Written by Desmond Devlin / Art by Richard Williams and Scott Bricher

    Reprinted in 1 collection

    • The 100 Dumbest People, Events & Things of the Century (so far) — Special Collector's Edition 2014

    12–13
  • 2. China's Poisoned Products — “got Chinese milk?” (got milk? ad parody) — Art by Scott Bricher

    Reprinted in 1 collection

    • The 100 Dumbest People, Events & Things of the Century (so far) — Special Collector's Edition 2014

    14
  • 3. The Massachusetts Teen Pregnancy Pact — “The Sisterhood of the Unzipped Pants” (The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants movie poster parody) — Written by Jacob Lambert / Art by Scott Bricher / Photos by Irving Schild 15
  • 4. The Pregnant Man (Hallmark Father's Day card parodies) — Art by Charles Akins and Teresa Burns Parkhurst 18
  • 5. O.J. Simpson — “2008 Heistman Trophy” — Written by John Caldwell / Sculpture by Hermann Mejia / Photos by Irving Schild

    Reprinted in 1 collection

    • The 100 Dumbest People, Events & Things of the Century (so far) — Special Collector's Edition 2014

    19
  • 6. Hillary Clinton's White House Campaign — “I Can Do It! / Can I Do It? / I Couldn't Do It!” (We Can Do It! — WWII U.S. propaganda poster parody) — Art by Mark Stutzman

    Reprinted in 2 collections

    • Totally MAD — 2012
    • Totally Inside MAD — 2016

    20
  • 7. Celebrity Moms and Dads — “Bad Parenting” (Parenting magazine cover parody) — Photos by Irving Schild 22
  • 8. Rev. John Hagee — “Hägee The Horrible” (Hägar The Horrible comic strip parody) — Written by Nate Fakes / Art by Gary Hallgren 23
  • 9. The Economic Collapse — “The Loan Wars” (The Clone Wars TV poster parody) — Art by Tom Richmond 24
  • 10. Wesley Snipes' I.R.S. Troubles — “Incarcerated: TurboTax Federal Penitentiary” (Intuit: TurboTax Federal Forms software parody) — Written by Frank Santopadre 29
  • 11. Amy Winehouse — “Back to Crack” (Back to Black album cover parody) — Written by Scott Maiko 30
  • 12. John McCain's Ugly Campaign — “Fright Club” (Fight Club movie poster parody) 31
  • 13. Texas Polygamy Wives — “Texas Polygamist Sect Barbie Dream Compound Playset” (toy parody) — Written by Justin Tyler / Figures by Dave Croatto / Photos by Irving Schild

    Reprinted in 1 collection

    • The 100 Dumbest People, Events & Things of the Century (so far) — Special Collector's Edition 2014

    32
  • 14. Rev. Jeremiah Wright — “Pulpit Friction” (Pulp Fiction movie poster parody) — Written by Frank Santopadre / Art by Drew Friedman 33
  • 15. Brett Favre Unretires — “The Favre Side” (The Far Side comic parody) — Art by Gary Hallgren

    Reprinted in 1 collection

    • The 100 Dumbest People, Events & Things of the Century (so far) — Special Collector's Edition 2014

    34
  • 16. Jesse Jackson Rants on Obama — “The Jesse Jackson Nutcracker” (ad parody) — Written by Josh Eiserike / Sculpture by Liz Lomax 36
  • 17. The Yanked Rachael Ray Ad — “Scarf Farce” (Scarface movie poster parody) — Written by Jacob Lambert 37
  • 18. Bigfoot Discovered — “The Incredible Hoax” (The Incredible Hulk comic book cover parody) — Art by Ty Templeton 38
  • 19. Celebrity Sex Scandals — “Crotchmen” (Watchmen graphic novel cover parody) — Written by Jacob Lambert / Art by Glenn Fabry

    Reprinted in 3 collections

    • Totally MAD — 2012
    • The 100 Dumbest People, Events & Things of the Century (so far) — Special Collector's Edition 2014
    • Totally Inside MAD — 2016

    40
  • 20. Stunt Day in the Park with Blaine (A Sunday Afternoon on the Island of La Grande Jatte — Georges Seurat painting parody) — Written by Jacob Lambert / Art by James Warhola 41
  • The MAD 20 Hall of Fame Inducts George W. Bush — Art by Mark Fredrickson

    Eleven MAD 20 past appearances

    • “got coke?” — Photos by Irving Schild
    • The Election 2000 Mess — Written by Desmond Devlin / Art by Tom Richmond
    • Bush vs. Pretzel — Fold-In — Al Jaffee
    • George W. Bush — “G.I. Joke Action Figure” — Written by Russ Cooper / Photos by Irving Schild
    • The Anti-Gay Crusade — “Evil Eye for the Queer Guy” — Art by Mark Stutzman
    • Bush Jokes About WMDs — This One'll Kill Ya! — Written by Russ Cooper / Art by Tom Nick Cocotos
    • Hurricane Katrina — “Where's W?” — Written by Jeff Kruse / Art by Doug Holgate
    • The Terri Schiavo Media Circus — Art by Tom Richmond
    • The Iraq War — Mish-mosh Accomplished — The Iraqi Quagmire Chess Set — Written by Jacob Lambert / Sculpture by Hermann Mejia / Photos by Irving Schild
    • Pirates of the Constitution: Head Man's Mess — Written by John Kovaleski / Art by Mark Fredrickson
    • Bush Breaks Presidential Record for Time Off — Vacation Daze — Written by Desmond Devlin / Art by Mark Stutzman

    42–43
  11
• Ad for MAD Magazine Poster Book with bonus MAD #166 offer
  21
• Ad for tons of MAD merchandise
  39
• Signs You'll Grow Up to be a Degenerate Gambler

  Bettor Days Are Ahead Dept.

  John Caldwell
  44–45
• A MAD Look at Hard Times

  Serge-In General Dept.

  Sergio Aragones / Color by David Rodriguez

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • MAD's Greatest Artists: Sergio Aragonés — 2010
  46–48 sample
• Spy vs. Spy — pie pepper sneeze

  Joke and Dagger Dept.

  Peter Kuper

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • Spy vs. Spy — Fight to the Finish — 2013
  49
• It's a Good Brand Name... and a Bad Brand Name...

  A New Malign of Products Dept.

  Written by Jeff Kruse / Art by Paul Coker, Jr.

  Reprinted in 2 collections

  • This Is Your Brain on MAD — Special Collector's Edition 2015
  • MAD Hodgepodge of Humor — Vol. 1 — Apr/May 2025
  50–51
• Fold-In — What important inhabitant from the north was in over their head this year?

  Al Jaffee

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • The MAD Fold-In Collection 1964–2010 — 2011
  C3