MAD #496 — December 2008

"When most people think about their problems, the only thing they figure out is that they're too dumb to fix them!" — Alfred E. Neuman

Contents

• Contents Page
  1
• Letters and Tomatoes Dept.

  Notes

  • Plugs for Al Jaffee's Tall Tales and 2009 calendar
  2–4
• Ads for MAD Magazine Poster Book and MAD About Politics books
  5
• Drawn-Out Dramas

  Marginal Thinking Dept.

  Sergio Aragones
  (various places around the magazine)
• The Fundalini Pages

  Random Acts of Mindlessness Dept.

  Friends of Fundalini Notes

  • "Friends of Fundalini" list of contributors not originally attached to the articles in this section: Charles Akins, Greg Benson, Dick DeBartolo, Desmond Devlin, J. C. Duffy, Darren Johnson, Jeff Kruse, Jacob Lambert, Kevin Pope, Tom Richmond, Ward Sutton, Rick Tulka — DETAILS

  • Signs Your Dad Loves Football More Than Your Family — Art by Tom Richmond
  • When the Going Gets Duff — track your urine online (J. C. Duffy)
  • Control-Alt-Deleted Scenes from the Seinfeld Microsoft Ads
  • Least E-Mailed Articles
  • Before and After Grocery Products — Written by Greg Benson / Art by Charles Akins
    Reprinted in 1 collection

    • Disturbingly Awful MAD — 2013
  • The Fast 5 — Wacky American Laws — Written by Jeff Kruse / Art by Rick Tulka
  • Sutton For Punishment — Rock Band game sequels (Ward Sutton)
  • Solution to Last Month's "Mini-Mystery" — the grille of her husband's Bentley
  • Melvin & Jenkins' Guide to Holiday Shopping — Written by Desmond Devlin / Art by Kevin Pope
  • Celebrity Cause-of-Death Betting Odds — Lil Wayne
  • 6 Easy Ways to Succeed in School
  6–9
• The Rise and Fall of a Rap Star

  Hip Flop Artist Dept.

  Written by Desmond Devlin / Art by Hermann Mejia
  10–13
• What the Deal or No Deal Models are Thinking

  Ruminations With a View Dept.

  Written by Matthew A. Cohen and Ross Garmil
  14–15
• MAD's Inspirational Animal Stories (fifth in a series) — The Horse That Knew the Way

  The Beast and the Brightest Dept.

  Written by Brian McConnachie / Art by Leonardo Rodriguez
  16–17
• A MAD Look at Road Trips

  Serge-In General Dept.

  Sergio Aragones

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • MAD's Greatest Artists: Sergio Aragonés — 2010
  18–21
• 7 Periods Closer to Death

  Rall Tales Dept.

  Ted Rall
  22
• Monroe and... the Natural Disaster

  Angster's Paradise Dept.

  Written by Anthony Barbieri / Art by Tom Fowler / Color by Carl Peterson
  27–30
• Ads for Spy vs. Spy 2 — The Joke and Dagger Files, The MAD War on Bush, MAD About Star Wars, and The Completely MAD Don Martin books
  31
• Comments You'll Never Hear No Matter How Long You Live

  "Don't Phrase Me, Bro!" Dept.

  Written by Darren Johnson / Art by Tom Bunk

  Reprinted in 3 collections

  • Certifiably MAD — 2012
  • Insanely Awesome MAD — 2011
  • Insanely Awesome MAD — Deluxe Edition — 2014
  32–33 sample
• Spy vs. Spy — crane wrecking ball balloon / false rocket cylinder

  Joke and Dagger Dept.

  Peter Kuper

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • Spy vs. Spy — Fight to the Finish — 2013
  34–35
• Planet TAD!!!!!

  In Blog We Trust Dept.

  Written by Tim Carvell
  36–37
• The Darker Side of The Lighter Side

  Berg's-Eye Askew Dept.

  Dave Berg originals / uncredited altered dialogue
  38–40
• Using Kids' Books to Explain the Awful Bush Years

  And a Child Shall Read Them Dept.

  Written by David Shayne / Art by Gary Hallgren

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • MAD Dumps on Trump and other Unlikeable Leaders! — Special Collector's Edition 2018
  41–47
• Fold-In — What's quickly becoming the hottest destination for many teenagers?

  Al Jaffee

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • The MAD Fold-In Collection 1964–2010 — 2011
  C3