Mad #519 February 2013

  • Cover Artist: Mark Fredrickson
  • Contents Page (1)
  • "We can fix America's plummeting test scores in math
    if we all just give 110 percent!" -- Alfred E. Neuman
  • Letters
    (Celebrity Snap of David DeGrand with Drew Carey) (2,4,5)
  • Sergio Aragones Drawn Out Dramas
    **various obscure places around the magazine
  • Ad For Subscriptions (Kelly Freas art from #52) (3)
  • The Fundalini Pages (6-8)
Toggle cover for large/small views Mad #519
 
    • Rejected Fortune Cookies
    • Eckstein Marks the Spot! - homeless cardboard sign: "Follow Me on Twitter" (Bob Eckstein)
    • Celebrity Cause of Death Betting Odds - Honey Boo Boo's Mother, June Shannon (Rick Tulka art)
    • Ways to Make Stop-and-Frisk Encounters More Enjoyable
      (written by Evan Waite / Kevin Pope art)
    • The Fast Five - Facts the State News Won't Release About North Korean Dictator Kim Jong-Un
      (written by Matt Lassen / Anton Emdin art)
    • More Rejected Fortune Cookies
    • A Walk in the Parkhurst - flies get news from paper (Teresa Burns Parkhurst)
    • Bitterman - bath salts (Garth Gerhart)
  • The Mad 20 Dumbest People, Events and Things of 2012 (introduction page) (9)
    • 1. Woman "Restores" Religious Fresco -
      (Triple Self-Portrait by Norman Rockwell parody) (Richard Williams art) (10)
    • 2. Mitt Romney's Flip-Flops - "A Tale of Two Mitties" -
      (A Tale of Two Cities book parody) (written by Stan Sinberg / Rick Geary art) (11)
    • 3. Paparazzi Stalk Kate Middleton - "Invasion of the Booby Snappers" -
      (Invasion of the Body Snatchers movie poster parody) (Mark Stutzman art) (12)
    • 4. Rush Limbaugh's Sexist Tirade - "Misogyny" -
      (Monopoly board game parody) (written by Phil McAndrew / Charles Akins art) (13)
    • 5. Lance Armstrong - "Cheatings from France" - (postcard parody)
      (written by Desmond Devlin / Mark Stutzman art) (14-15)
    • 6. Barack Obama Blows First Debate -
      "First Aid for the Presidential Debate Choking Victim -
      The Obamanuever" - (idea by Matthew A. Cohen) (16)
    • 7. George Zimmerman - "Curious George Zimmerman Stands His Ground"
      (Curious George book parody) (written by Darren Johnson / Gary Hallgren art) (17)
    • 8. Clint Eastwood's Convention Speech - "Trouble with the Chair" -
      (Trouble with the Curve movie poster parody) (Ward Sutton art) (18)
    • 9. Amanda Bynes - "Braking Bad" - (Breaking Bad TV poster parody) (Scott Bricher art) (19)
    • 10. Octomom Does Porn - "The Birth of Heinous" -
      (The Birth of Venus - Botticelli painting parody) (James Warhola art) (20)
    • 11. NFL Hires Replacement Refs - "Maddening Ref Lockout 13" -
      (Madden NFL 13 video game parody) (written by David Shayne) (21)
    • 12. Ann Curry - "Anchor Canned" - (Anchorman movie poster parody)
      (written by Matt Lassen / Richard Williams art) (22)
    • 13. Todd Akin - "Unscientific American" -
      (Scientific American magazine cover parody) (written by Scott Nickel) (23)
    • 14. Apple Maps - (apology letter from Tim Cook) (written by Dick DeBartolo) (24)
    • 15. Captain Flees Sinking Ship - "Dumb Sh*ts Sink Ships" -
      (Loose Lips Sink Ships WWII U.S. propaganda poster parody) (Bob Staake art) (25)
    • 16. Facebook's IPO - "The So-Called Net Worth" -
      (The Social Network movie poster parody) (written by Jeff Kruse) (26)
    • 17. Paula Deen Hides Diabetes -
      "The Medicine You Need and the Taste You Want - Deep-Fried Insulin" (Scott Bricher art) (27)
    • 18. The Mayan Calendar - Prophet and Loss (written by Jeff Kruse / Tom Bunk art) (28-29)
    • 19. Kristen Cheats on Rob - "The Two-Timing Saga - New Man" -
      (The Twilight Saga - New Moon movie poster parody) (Hermann Mejia art) (30)
    • 20. What dry and craggy surface did the world get a close-up look at this year? -
      Fold-In (tan mom's face) (Al Jaffee) (31)
    • 21. The Right Turns On Justice John Roberts -
      "Judge Judas" - (Judge Judy TV poster parody) (32)
  • The Strip Club (33-36)
  • Ad for Totally Mad Book (37)
  • Planet TAD!!!!! (written by Tim Carvell) (38-39)
  • Spy vs. Spy - remote control car mayhem / grenade door handle (Peter Kuper) (40-41)
  • Ad for various Mad books (42-43)
  • A Mad Look At Alternative Medicine (Sergio Aragones / Tom Luth color) (44-47)
  • The Dork Knight Reprises (movie satire) (written by Arnie Kogen / Tom Richmond art) (48-54)
  • The Best of The Idiotical (stuff from Mad's blog) (56)
    • Liam Neeson - Takin' a #2
    • Similarites and Differences Between James Bond and Abraham Lincoln
    • Interesting Facts About Felix Baumgartner's Space Jump
    • Keep Dumb and Carry On
    • Walt Disney presents Star Wars - Episode VII