MAD #513 — February 2012
"America is still the greatest country in the world… but only because all the other countries are collapsing even faster than we are!" — Alfred E. Neuman
Contents
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Contents PageIt's the List We Can Do Dept.1
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Letters and Tomatoes Dept.
Notes
- Photo of Peter Kuper with Inkpot Award from San Diego Comic-Con, more decorated Spy vs. Spy figures to go with those featured on the pull-out poster in #511 (Irving Schild photos), "Blank" Spy action figures customized by: Carlos "The Beast Brothers" East Jr., Ernesto "The Beast Brothers" East, Jim Lee, Bill Morrison, Pendleton Ward, Thomas Weiser, Casey Willis, Weird Al Yankovic
2–4 -
(various obscure places around the magazine) summary
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The Fundalini PagesRandom Acts of Mindless Dept.
- Celebrity Cause-of-Death Betting Odds — Rick Perry — Art by Bob Staake
- LeLievre and Let LeLievre — "Are we dead yet?" (Glen LeLievre)
- You May Have Too Many Cats If… — Written by Teresa Burns Parkhurst / Art by Kevin Pope sample
- Your Small Town Police Blotter — Written by Jeff Kruse
- Fundalini Asks: "What Do You Think They're Talking About?" — Art by Scott Bricher
- The Fast Five — How to Curb Fan Violence in Pro Sports — Written by Jeff Kruse / Art by Tom Bunk
- Vey to Go — hostage food (P. C. Vey)
- The Fast Five — Tip-Offs That Your Significant Other Just Might Be a Serial Killer — Written by Kit Lively / Art by Tim Hamilton
- Tiger Momma (Jacob Lambert)
- Worst-Selling Mail Order Catalog Items for the Holidays — Written by Jeff Kruse / Art by Charles Akins
- Salas in Wonderland — humor in psychiatrist comics (Jason Salas)
- Unwritten Rules for Transgender Newbies (John Caldwell)
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Ad for Subscriptions9
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The MAD 20 Dumbest People, Events and Things of 2011(introduction page)Featuring /
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1. The U.S. Debt Crisis — "The Walking Debt" — (The Walking Dead TV parody poster) — Art by Hermann Mejia12–13
Reprinted in 1 collection
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2. Tired Air Traffic Controllers — "Stay the F**k Awake" — (Go the F**k to Sleep book parody) — Written by Darren Johnson / Art by James Warhola 14
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3. Covering for a Pedophile — "The Blind Eye" — (The Blind Side movie poster parody) — Art by Scott Bricher 15
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4. Congressman Sexts His Weiner — "The Anthony Weiner 'No Limits' Sexting Plan" — (ad parody) — Written by Desmond Devlin 16
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5. Kim Kardashian Gets Married — "Wedding Cashers" — (Wedding Crashers movie parody poster) — Written by Matt Lassen / Art by Mark Stutzman17
Reprinted in 1 collection
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6. Charlie Sheen Self-Destructs — "Sheen Lantern" — (Green Lantern comic book cover parody) — Written by Kit Lively and Scott Nickel / Art by Tom Richmond 18–19
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7. Olbermann Implodes At MSNBC — The Worst Personal Choice in the World — Written by Desmond Devlin / Art by Drew Friedman 20
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8. The NBA Lockout — "No Basketball Association" — (NBA team logo parodies) — Art by Timothy Shamey 21
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9. Casey Anthony Gets Off — "Casey at the Trial" — (Casey at the Bat Ernest Thayer poem parody) — Written by Lance Hansen with Frank Jacobs / Art by Ward Sutton22–23
Reprinted in 1 collection
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10. Tiger Moms — "Study! For the Glory of Your Mother" — (Chinese Cultural Revolution propaganda poster parody) — Written by James Grebey / Art by Juan Doe 24
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11. Rex Ryan's Foot Fetish — "Footlewd" — (Footloose movie poster parody) — Written by Matt Lassen / Art by Scott Bricher 25
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12. Netflix Changes the Rules — "A message from Reed Hastings" — Written by Dick DeBartolo 26
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13. Arnold Schtups His Housekeeper — "Crazy Stupid Gov" — (Crazy Stupid Love movie poster parody) — Art by Richard Williams27
Reprinted in 1 collection
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14. Trump Says Obama Not American — "Birther King" — (Burger King / Trump portrait) — Written by Desmond Devlin / Art by Roberto Parada sample28–29
Reprinted in 1 collection
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15. News Corp Hacks Phones — "Game of Phones" — (Game of Thrones TV poster parody) — Written by Jacob Lambert / Art by Mick Coulas 30
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16. Michele Bachmann Speaks — "The Look of Moron" — (The Book of Mormon Broadway play poster parody) — Written by Frank Santopadre and Genevieve Sterbenz 31
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17. Harold Camping — "The Day the Earth Still Stood" — (The Day the Earth Stood Still movie poster parody) — Written by Jacob Lambert / Art by Mark Stutzman sample32
Reprinted in 1 collection
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18. Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark's Injuries — "The Amazingly Dangerous Spider-Play" — (The Amazing Spiderman comic book parody) — Written by Desmond Devlin / Art by Ty Templeton 33–35
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19. Herman Cain's Presidential Run — "The Pee-Wee Herman Cain Show" — (The Pee-Wee Herman Show TV poster parody) — Art by Mark Fredrickson 36
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20. Derek Jeter's 3000th Hit Ball Returned — Fold-In (Al Jaffee) 37
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Ad for Subscriptionswith #154 bonus print38
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Pen and Stink Dept.
- Awkward Hugs (Tom Bland)
- Father O'Flannity's Hot Tub Confessions with Kanye West (Keith Knight)
- The Dork Side — Written by Kit Lively / Art by Scott Nickel
Reprinted in 1 collection
- What If Dog Was One Of Us? (Kenny Keil)
- Coombs & Coombs (Jason Coates)
Reprinted in 1 collection
- Rods & Cones (Brian Gordon)
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42–43
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44–47
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Ad for MAD Books48–49
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Spy vs. Spy — bomb within airplane / safe vacuumJoke and Dagger Dept.50–51
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Ways to Create a Healthier McDonald's ExperienceHamburger Buns of Steel Dept.
Reprinted in 1 collection
52–53 -
The MAD VaultRotten to the Encore Dept.
- from MAD #149 — Harry Grepser's New Year's Resolutions 1962–1972 — Written by Frank Jacobs
- from MAD #252 — One Fine Christmas in the Jungle — Don Martin
54–56