MAD #505 — October 2010

"Ask not what your country can do for you — you're just going to be disappointed with the answer!" — Alfred E. Neuman

Contents

• Contents Page
  1
• Letters and Tomatoes Dept.

  Notes

  • photo of Conan O'Brien enjoying MAD
  2, 4–6
• Ad for The Spy vs. Spy Mega Mini Kit and Subscriptions
  3, 5
• Drawn-Out Dramas

  Marginal Thinking Dept.

  Sergio Aragones
  (various obscure places around the magazine)
• Ad for Subscriptions with bonus MAD #96 print offer
  7
• The Fundalini Pages

  Random Acts of Mindless Dept.

  • Celebrity Cause of Death Betting Odds — Charlie Sheen — Art by Sam Viviano
  • A Sex Tape We Hope We Never See — Betty White — Written by Arie Kaplan sample
  • The Stupid Six — How Other Jobs Are Going Green — Written by Jeff Kruse
  • Skateboarding Term or BP Cleanup Tactic? — Written by Jeff Kruse
  • The Fast Five — Fun Facts About Supreme Court Nominee Elena Kagan — Written by Jeff Kruse / Art by Paul Coker, Jr.
  • Vey to Go — study during lockdown — P. C. Vey
  • Possible Theories to Explain Justin Bieber's Ever-Present Hand Gesture — Written by Emily Flake / Art by Sam Sisco
  • Gaga the Horrible (Episode 1) — Art by Gary Hallgren
  • Universal Pet Peeves of Beloved Yoga Masters — John Caldwell
    Reprinted in 2 collections

    • MAD #42 — April 2025
    • MAD Hodgepodge of Humor — Vol. 1 — Apr/May 2025
  • Gaga the Horrible (Episode 2) — Art by Gary Hallgren
  • Spotlight on American Universities — The Higher Learning Place — Written by Jeff Kruse / Art by Charles Akins
  • The Kitchen Sink — WebMD's Strangest Searches — Art by Tom Bunk
  • TV Drinking Games to Keep You Sober — Written by Jeff Kruse / Art by Dave Crosland
  • Dating Tips With Donnie the Douche — Written by Jeff Kruse
  • Gimme a Flake — noose walkies?? — Emily Flake
  • Melvin & Jenkins' Guide to Volunteerism — Written by Desmond Devlin / Art by Kevin Pope
  • Things You Don't Want to Overhear at a Bachelor Party — Written by Jeff Kruse
  • Gaga the Horrible (Episode 3) — Art by Gary Hallgren
  8–12
• Glee Blows — A MAD Public Service Announcement

  All the World's an Awkward Stage Dept.

  Reprinted in 3 collections

  • Totally MAD — 2012
  • The Best of the Worst! — Special Collector's Edition 2012
  • Totally Inside MAD — 2016
  13
• Tea-Bagger Proof that Obama is a Terrorist/Socialist

  Red State of Confusion Dept.

  Written by Stan Sinberg / Art by Hermann Mejia

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • MAD Spoofs Politics — Special Collector's Edition 2014
  14–15
• A MAD Look At Racial Profiling

  Serge-In General Dept.

  Sergio Aragones / Color by Tom Luth
  18–21
• Worst-Selling Children's Books

  Shelf Loathing Dept.

  Written by Jeff Kruse / Art by Scott Bricher
  22–23
• Spy vs. Spy — satellite vs. drone / ladder gun

  Joke and Dagger Dept.

  Peter Kuper

  Reprinted in 3 collections

  • Spy vs. Spy — Fight to the Finish — 2013
  • MAD Presents Spy Vs. Spy — An Explosive Celebration — 2015
  • MAD Presents Spy vs Spy: The Big Blast — Special Collector's Edition 2016
  24–25
• Inspirational Wall Plaques That Never Caught On

  Don't Phrase Me, Bro Dept.

  Written by Jeff Kruse
  26–27
• Planet TAD!!!!!

  In Blog We Trust Dept.

  Written by Tim Carvell / Art by Brian Durniak
  28–29
• 9 Ways to Pass the Time in Your Doctor's Waiting Room

  Trying Our Patients Dept.

  Teresa Burns Parkhurst

  Reprinted in 2 collections

  • MAD Treasure Trove of Trash — Vol. 10 — Jan/Feb 2025
  • MAD Hodgepodge of Humor — Vol. 4 — April 2026
  30–31
• MAD's Oh-So Negative True Blood Outtakes

  The Vampire Strikes Back Dept.

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • MAD Unplugs TV — Special Collector's Edition 2015
  32–33
• A Letter From BP (ad parody)

  Carry On My Hayward Son Dept.

  Written by Dick DeBartolo
  34
• The Strip Club

  Pen and Stink Dept.

  • The Machine That Travels Through Time — Joey Alison Sayers
    Reprinted in 1 collection

    • This Is Your Brain On MAD — Special Collector's Edition 2015
  • Rex in the City — Dustin Glick
    Reprinted in 2 collections

    • Totally Useless MAD — 2013
    • This Is Your Brain On MAD — Special Collector's Edition 2015
  • The Roommates: John, Joe and Jerry — Todd Clark
    Reprinted in 1 collection

    • This Is Your Brain On MAD — Special Collector's Edition 2015
  • The Dork Side — Written by Kit Lively / Art by Scott Nickel
    Reprinted in 1 collection

    • This Is Your Brain On MAD — Special Collector's Edition 2015
  • Phone Tagged — Vic Black
    Reprinted in 1 collection

    • This Is Your Brain On MAD — Special Collector's Edition 2015
  • Just Below the Surface — Douglas Paszkiewicz
    Reprinted in 1 collection

    • This Is Your Brain On MAD — Special Collector's Edition 2015
  35–38
• If Jesus Walked Among Us — The Gulf Coast

  The Splashin' of the Christ Dept.

  Art by Richard Williams
  39
• TMZzz (website parody)

  Look Who's Stalking Dept.

  Written by Jacob Lambert / various photos
  40–41
• Rejected Stamp Collections

  For Letter or Worse Dept.

  Written by Jeff Kruse / Art by Bob Staake and Drew Friedman
  42–43
• The Darker Side of The Lighter Side

  Berg's Eye Eschew Dept.

  Dave Berg originals / uncredited altered dialogue
  44–46
• The Wizard of O

  Toto Recall Dept.

  Written by Desmond Devlin / Art by Tom Richmond

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • MAD Spoofs Movie Classics — Special Collector's Edition 2015
  47–52
• The MAD Vault — 2001

  The Articles Formerly Known as Reprints Dept.

  Featured Article Excerpts and Contributors

  • Thirteen covers from 2001 interspersed within the following collage of article excerpts:
  • What is a Hollywood Liberal? — Written by Mike Snider / Art by Rick Tulka
  • Has Your Food Been Genetically Altered? — Tom Cheney
  • "Likelihood-of-Outcome" Charts For Those Stupid Things We All Do — Written by Mike Snider / Art by George Woodbridge
  • Malcontent in the Muddle (TV satire) — Written by Desmond Devlin / Art by Tom Richmond
  • Maimed Flesh — The Magazine for People Who Mutilate Their Bodies With Excessive Tattoos and Grotesque Piercings in a Misguided Cry for Attention — Written by Scott Maiko / Art by Hermann Mejia
  • Gulp Fiction — Don (Duck) Edwing
  • Gross and Beyond Gross — The Sequel — John Caldwell
  • The Shoddier Image (ad parody) — Photos by Irving Schild / Written by Brian Farrelly and Sean Farrelly
  • Passed Away (movie satire) — Written by Arnie Kogen / Art by Mort Drucker
  • Other Fashion Brand Names That Are Actually Acronyms — Written by Mike Snider / Art by Rick Tulka
  • A Special MAD Interview With Eminem — Written by Desmond Devlin / Art by Ray Alma
  53–55 collage
• It Happened One Morning

  Release the Crappin' Dept.

  Written by Michael Gallagher / Art by Tom Bunk

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • MAD Treasure Trove of Trash — Vol. 10 — Jan/Feb 2025
  56 sample
• Fold-In — What stratospheric condition caused many not to fly this year?

  Al Jaffee
  C3