Mad #444 August 2004
- Cover Artist: Mark Fredrickson
- Contents Page (1)
- "If ignorance is bliss, you'd think people would be
happier when you pointed out what morons they are!"
-- Alfred E. Neuman
- Letters (2,4,6)
- Ad for The Mad Bathroom Companion -
Gushing Fourth book
- Sergio Aragones Drawn-Out Dramas
**various places around the magazine
- The Fundalini Pages (Ray Alma, Scott Bricher, Tom Bunk, John Caldwell, Tom Cheney, Desmond Devlin, Don (Duck) Edwing, Garth Gerhart, Gary Hallgren, Jeff Kruse, Scott Maiko, Patrick Merrell, Steve Rosso, Mike Snider, Jack Syracuse, P. C. Vey) (IMPORTANT NOTE) (8-10)
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- Initial Steps by the U.S. Government to
Improve Conditions at Iraq's Abu Ghraib Prison
- If Peter Parker had been Bitten by Other Radioactive Creatures (written by Steve Rosso)
- Personal Ad of the Month - Arnie: observational stand-up comic (written by Jeff Kruse)
- Bitterman - drunk sleeping at the dinner table (Garth Gerhart)
- Classified Ads
- The Godfrey Report
- The Cover We Didn't Use - We Piss Off Spiderman! (Ray Alma art)
- Celebrity Cause of Death Betting Odds - Paris Hilton
(written by Mike Snider / Jack Syracuse art)
- Graphic Novel Review - Incredi-Man Archives (written by Desmond Devlin / Gary Hallgren art)
- New Technology Culled From Downed Alien Spacecraft (P. C. Vey)
- The Puzzle Nook - "---ger never solved anything" (Patrick Merrell)
- Pull My Cheney! - tree surgeon (Tom Cheney)
- After Devoting an Entire Broadcast to Reading the Names of U.S. Iraqi War Casualties...
What Other Gimmicks is Ted Koppel Planning for Nightline? (written by Jeff Kruse)
- The First Five Guys in Line to See Spider-Man 2 (Tom Bunk art)
- Las Vaguest (TV satire) (written by Charlie Kadau / Mort Drucker art) (12-16)
- Mad's Heroically-Awful Spider-Man 2 Outtakes (written by Dick DeBartolo) (18-19)
- Only a Democrat Could Possibly Believe... (written by Russ Cooper / Paul Coker, Jr. art) (20-21)
- Monroe and... Europe - Part One (written by Anthony Barbieri / Bill Wray art) (22-25)
- The Last Supper - Circa 2004 (poster) (Richard Williams art) (26-27)
- A Cell Phone-Camera Geek's Photo Album (written by Mike Snider / Drew Friedman art) (28-30)
- Spider-Man Has a Bad Week! (written by Arie Kaplan / Kevin Pope art) (31)
- You Know a Rapper's Gone Soft When... (written by Jacob Lambert / Hermann Mejia art) (32-33)
- A Mad Look at Space Exploration (Sergio Aragones) (34-37)
- Only a Republican Could Possibly Believe... (written by Russ Cooper / Paul Coker, Jr. art) (38-39)
- Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions (Al Jaffee / color by Wildstorm) (40-42)
- Duke Bissell's Tales of Undisputed Interest -- ye old witchcraft shoppe (P. C. Vey) (43)
- How to Think Like a Superstar (written by Barry Liebmann / Bob Staake art) (44-45)
- Spy vs. Spy - Dr. Octopus meets real octopus (Peter Kuper) (46-47)
- From the Case Files of Wanda Goldstein Flenkman: Pet Psychologist (Teresa Burns Parkhurst) (48-49)
- Pet Peeves of Spider-Man's Girlfriend (John Caldwell) (50-52)
- Fold-In -- What will be the most grueling event in the upcoming olympics? (Al Jaffee) (C3)
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