Mad #381 May 1999

• Cover Artist: Scott Bricher

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• Subscription Ad - "Dan Brown" dressed as a lobster
  (written by Joe Raiola / Irving Schild photos) (C2)
• Contents Page (1)
• "There's no business like show business, although in terms
  of compassion, the Mafia comes close!" -- Alfred E. Neuman
• Letters and Tomatoes Dept.
  (Charlton Heston reacts to back of #377)
  (promo for Totally Mad CD-Roms due Fall 1999) (2-3)
• Ad for Super Special May 1999 #137 -
  Double Sided - Mad Mocks Fox TV / School Sucks
• Drawn-Out Dramas by Sergio AragonesMARGINAL THINKING DEPT. (summary)
  **various places around the magazine
• The Diary of a Tomb Raider FanaticSTAR CROFT LOVERS DEPT.
  (written by Desmond Devlin / Scott Bricher art) (4-7)
• How the NBA Plans to Win back the Love of Their Former Fans HOOP SCHEMES DEPT.
  
  article was reprinted in:
  Mad XL #32 March 2005
  (written by Desmond Devlin / Keith Seidel art) (8-9)
• Monroe &... Las Vegas - Part IANGSTER'S PARADISE DEPT.
  (written by Anthony Barbieri / Bill Wray art) (10-13)
• Pop Up Porno Videos WHO GIVES A FLYING FACT DEPT.
  
  article was reprinted in:
  Mad XL #30 November 2004
  (14-16)
  (written by Andrew J. Schwartzberg / Hermann Mejia art)
• Tofu Times - The New Age NewspaperSOY STORY DEPT.
  (written by Charlie Kadau and Joe Raiola)
  (James Warhola art) (17-21)
• Instant TV Reviews HIDE 'N' CRITIQUE DEPT.
  
  article was reprinted in:
  Mad Art - 2002 (excerpt)
  Mad XL #31 January 2005
  
  (written by Russ Cooper / Grey Blackwell art) (22-23)
• Brutally Honest Flight Attendant Announcements THE PLANE TRUTH DEPT.
  
  article was reprinted in:
  Mad XL #33 June 2005
  
  (written by Amy Gillett / Tom Bunk art) (24-25)
• Spy vs. Spy JOKE AND DAGGER DEPT.
  
  article was reprinted in:
  Mad Classics #2 - September 2005
  Spy Vs. Spy 2 - The Joke and Dagger Files - 2007
  - tank crushed by dominos (Peter Kuper) (26-28)
• Scenes from the Antiques Freakshow APPRAISE THE THING DEPT.
  
  article was reprinted in:
  Mad About TV - 1999
  Mad About the '90s - 2005
  Mad For Decades - 2007
  (TV satire)
  (written by Charlie Richards / Bill Wray art) (29-31)
• The Paranoid Psychotic's Guide to Foiling Paparazzi THE CLODS MUST BE CRAZY DEPT.
  
  article was reprinted in:
  Mad Classics #6 April 2006
  
  (John Caldwell) (32-33)
• Introducing Gravel Vista Gardens UNREAL ESTATE DEPT.
  
  article was reprinted in:
  Mad Classics #12 January 2007
  
  (written by Jeff Kruse / George Woodbridge art) (34)
• Sub-brainy The Teenage Wretch GENERATION HEX DEPT.
  
  article was reprinted in:
  Mad XL #24 November 2003
  (TV satire)
  (written by Dick DeBartolo / Paul Coker, Jr. art) (35-38)
• A Mad Guide to Mr. Right and Mr. Wrong YOU'VE GOT MALE DEPT.
  
  article was reprinted in:
  Mad XL #28 July 2004
  
  (written by Dave Croatto / Rick Tulka art) (39-41)
• A Mad Look at Hotels SERGE-IN GENERAL DEPT.
  
  article was reprinted in:
  Mad Classics #9 September 2006
  (Sergio Aragones) (42-44)
• Mad's Science Fiction Primer PLAN IT HOLLYWOOD DEPT.
  
  article was reprinted in:
  Mad Spoofs Star Wars and Other Sci-Fi - Special Collector's Edition 2017
  Mad #39 October 2024
  Mad Treasure Trove of Trash Vol. 9 - Aug/Sep 2024
  
  (written by Desmond Devlin / Mort Drucker art) (45-47)
• Mad's Celebrity Cause-Of-Death Betting Odds:
  Oprah Winfrey GRIEVING LAS VEGAS DEPT.
  
  article was reprinted in:
  Mad About TV - 1999
  
  (written by Mike Snider / Hermann Mejia art) (48)
• Fold-In -- What epic struggle will resume this summer
  but fail to live up to its predecessor? article was reprinted in:
  Mad About Star Wars - 2007
  The Mad Fold-In Collection 1964-2010 - 2011 (Al Jaffee) (C3)
• Back Cover -- Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions
  - Special All-Smoking Edition article was reprinted in:
  Mad Classics #2 - September 2005
  (Al Jaffee)