Mad #316 January 1993

  • Cover Photographer: Irving Schild
  • Cover Pumpkin Sculptor: Hugh McMahon
  • Cover Pumpkin Torso Model: Andrew J. Schwartzberg
  • Subscription Ad (George Woodbridge art from #116)
    Haunted by The Ghost of Christmas Presents? (C2)
  • Contents Page (1)
  • "The problem with the ladder of success is that by the
    time you've climbed it, you're considered over the hill.
    "
    -- Alfred E. Neuman
  • Ad for Christie's Auction of Original Mad Art
  • Letters and Tomatoes Dept. (2-3)
  • Ad for Mad's Prehysterical 1993 Calendar
  • Drawn-Out Dramas by Sergio AragonesMARGINAL THINKING DEPT.
    **various places around the magazine
  • Sister AxedA BAD CASE OF THE NUNS DEPT. (movie satire)
    (written by Stan Hart / Mort Drucker art) (4-8)
  • The Cretinous Cook's ConcoctionTALES FROM THE DUCK SIDE DEPT.
    (Don (Duck) Edwing) (9)
  • The Differences Between the 80's and the 90'sCUTTING THE DECADE DEPT.
    (John Caldwell) (10-11)
  • Spy vs. SpyJOKE AND DAGGER DEPT. - pogo schtick ceiling spikes
    (written by Don (Duck) Edwing / Bob Clarke art) (12)
  • Greeting Cards That Keep Up With the TimesFRANK ON A ROLL DEPT.
    (written by Frank Jacobs / Paul Coker, Jr. art) (13-15)
  • Words of Warning That Your Life's Not Going So WellTHE HINTER OF OUR DISCONTENT DEPT.
    (written by Mike Snider / Jack Davis art) (16-17)
  • Mad's Instant TV ReviewsHIDE 'N' CRITIQUE DEPT.
    (written by Russ Cooper / Rick Tulka art) (18-19)
  • The Wacky Washroom WhizbangTALES FROM THE DUCK SIDE DEPT. (Don (Duck) Edwing) (20)
  • Mad's Avalanche O' CatalogsCIRCULAR JERKS DEPT. (George Woodbridge art)
    (written by Charlie Kadau and Joe Raiola) (21-23)
  • Mad's Mix 'N' Match Donahue/Oprah/Geraldo/
    Maury/Sally Jessy/Jane Guest & Topic GeneratorTHE STUFF THAT THEMES ARE MADE OF DEPT.

    (written by John Caldwell / Gerry Gersten art) (24-25)
  • Mad Proverbs Guaranteed to Leave 'em SpeechlessWORDS TO GLIB BY DEPT.
    (written by Tom Koch / Al Jaffee art) (26-27)
  • The Lighter Side of...BERG'S-EYE VIEW DEPT. (Dave Berg) (28-32)
  • The Volatile Vegetable VignetteTALES FROM THE DUCK SIDE DEPT. (Don (Duck) Edwing) (33)
  • More Customer Satisfaction Surveys We'd Really Like to SeePUTTING ON THE OLD FEEDBACK DEPT. (written by Cary Pepper / Harry North, Esq. art) (34-35)
  • Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade RejectsGETTING OUT THE FLOAT DEPT.
    (Paul Peter Porges) (36-37)
  • Commemorative Stamps We'd Like to See (But Never Will!)PHILATELY WILL GET YOU NOWHERE DEPT.
    (written by Frank Jacobs / Bob Clarke art) (38-39)
  • A Mad Look at TattoosSERGE-IN GENERAL DEPT. (Sergio Aragones) (40-42)
  • Patr*idiotic GamesWHEN IRISH SPIES ARE SMILING DEPT. (movie satire)
    (written by Dick DeBartolo / Angelo Torres art) (43-47)
  • The Mad Living WilONE FOOTNOTE IN THE GRAVE DEPT.l (written by John Prete) (48)
  • Fold-In -- With the demise of the Soviet Fleet, what appears
    to be our Navy hotshots' latest target? (Al Jaffee) (C3)
  • Back Cover -- Sasssy Magazine (Jacques Chenet photo)
    (written by Charlie Kadau and Joe Raiola)

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