MAD #248 — July 1984

"The first thing a guy notices about a girl… depends on which way she's going!" — Alfred E. Neuman

Contents

• Subscription Ad — Why Kill Yourself?

  going to the dogs dressed as a cat — redrawn from #192

  Written by Don (Duck) Edwing / Art by Bob Jones
  C2
• Contents Page
  1
• Letters Dept.

  Notes

  • Ads for MAD Variations by Don (Duck) Edwing and Stamp Out MAD Paperbacks, Alfred E. Neuman portraits
  2–3
• Drawn-Out Dramas

  Marginal Thinking Dept.

  Sergio Aragones
  (various places around the magazine)
• Scarred Face (movie satire)

  Snort Subject Dept.

  Written by Larry Siegel / Art by Jack Davis

  Reprinted in 5 collections

  • MAD Special #81 — May 1992
  • MAD About The Mob — 2002
  • MAD XL #25 — January 2004
  • 1001 MAD Pages You Must Read Before You Die — 2009
  • MAD Spoofs Movie Classics — Special Collector's Edition 2015
  4–8 sample
• Early One Morning in an African Jungle

  Don Martin Dept. Part I

  Written by Don (Duck) Edwing / Art by Don Martin

  Reprinted in 3 collections

  • MAD XL #27 — June 2004
  • MAD's Greatest Artists — The Completely MAD Don Martin — 2007
  • 1001 MAD Pages You Must Read Before You Die — 2009
  9
• MAD's Political Believe It or Nuts!

  RIP...Please! Dept.

  Written by Don (Duck) Edwing / Art by Bob Clarke
  10–11
• More Ads We Never Got to See

  Ads Backwards Dept.

  Written by Dick DeBartolo / Art by Harry North, Esq.

  Reprinted in 4 collections

  • MAD Special #84 — November 1992
  • The MAD Bathroom Companion — Turd in a Series — 2003
  • The MAD Bathroom Companion — The Mother Load — 2004
  • MADvertising — 2005
  12–14
• Remington Steal (TV satire)

  The Sleuth Hurts Dept.

  Written by Lou Silverstone / Art by Angelo Torres
  15–20
• Late One Afternoon Outside of Orlando

  Don Martin Dept. Part II

  Written by Don (Duck) Edwing / Art by Don Martin

  Reprinted in 7 collections

  • MAD XL #29 — August 2004
  • MAD's Greatest Artists — The Completely MAD Don Martin — 2007
  • MAD Kids #9 — December 2007
  • 1001 MAD Pages You Must Read Before You Die — 2009
  • MAD's Greatest Artists — Don Martin — 2014
  • MAD Hodgepodge of Humor — Vol. 3 — December 2025
  • MAD Spoofs America — Special Collector's Edition 2026
  21
• MAD's All-Inclusive Do-It-Yourself TV Guide Listings

  Blank Accounts Dept.

  Written by Mike Snider

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • MAD Special #71 — Summer 1990
  22–23
• Modern Merit Badges

  Scoutological Dept.

  Written by Stan Hart / Art by George Woodbridge

  Reprinted in 4 collections

  • MAD Special #74 — Spring 1991
  • The Porpoise-ful MAD — 1991 (Paperback #88)
  • Completely MAD — 1991 (excerpt)
  • The MAD Bathroom Companion — The Gushing Fourth Edition — 2004
  24–26
• Horrifying Cliches

  Spooking from Pictures Dept.

  Written by Frank Jacobs / Art by Paul Coker, Jr.

  Reprinted in 6 collections

  • MAD Special #72 — Fall 1990
  • Swing Along With MAD — 1991 (Paperback #87)
  • MAD Art — 2002 (excerpt)
  • Totally MAD — 2012
  • The Best of the Worst! — Special Collector's Edition 2012
  • Totally Inside MAD — 2016
  27–29 sample
• The Lighter Side of...

  Berg's-Eye View Dept.

  Dave Berg

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • MAD Special #71 — Summer 1990
  30–34
• Spy vs. Spy — donkey kicks back out of rocket

  Joke and Dagger Dept.

  Antonio Prohias

  Reprinted in 5 collections

  • MAD Special #77 — Winter 1991
  • Spy Vs. Spy — The Complete Casebook — Antonio Prohias — 2001
  • Spy vs Spy — Mega Mini Kit — 2010
  • Spy Vs. Spy — Omnibus — Antonio Prohias — 2011
  • MAD Presents Spy Vs. Spy — An Explosive Celebration — 2015
  35
• MAD's Practical Joke Catalogue For Doctors

  Trying Your Patients Dept.

  Written by Beppe Sabatini / Art by Al Jaffee

  Reprinted in 6 collections

  • The Porpoise-ful MAD — 1991 (Paperback #88)
  • MAD Special #77 — Winter 1991
  • The MAD Bathroom Companion — Turd in a Series — 2003
  • The MAD Bathroom Companion — The Mother Load — 2004
  • MAD #31 — June 2023
  • MAD Treasure Trove of Trash — Vol. 5 — Apr/May 2023
  36–37
• Telephone Answering Machine Messages For Some Famous Literary Characters

  To Beep...or Not to Beep Dept.

  Written by Frank Jacobs

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • MAD Special #77 — Winter 1991
  38–39
• Other Uses For Pet Boa Constrictors

  Snaking Do Dept.

  Paul Peter Porges

  Reprinted in 2 collections

  • MAD Special #72 — Fall 1990
  • The Porpoise-ful MAD — 1991 (Paperback #88)
  40–42
• Mentl (movie satire)

  Funny Boy Dept.

  Written by Arnie Kogen / Art by Mort Drucker

  Reprinted in 2 collections

  • MAD Special #70 — Spring 1990
  • Swing Along With MAD — 1991 (Paperback #87)
  43–47
• One Fine Evening on a Brooklyn Street

  Don Martin Dept. Part III

  Written by Don (Duck) Edwing / Art by Don Martin

  Reprinted in 2 collections

  • MAD About The Mob — 2002
  • MAD's Greatest Artists — The Completely MAD Don Martin — 2007
  48
• Fold-In — What has replaced the bald eagle as America's symbol all over the world?

  Al Jaffee

  Reprinted in 3 collections

  • MAD Fold This Book — 1997
  • The MAD Fold-In Collection 1964-2010 — 2011
  • MAD Spoofs America — Special Collector's Edition 2026
  C3
• Back Cover — Elephant Snorts Alligator

  Written by Don (Duck) Edwing / Art by Jack Davis

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • MAD About the Eighties — 1999
  C4