Mad #316 January 1993

• Cover Photographer: Irving Schild
• Cover Pumpkin Sculptor: Hugh McMahon

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• Subscription Ad (George Woodbridge art from #116)
  Haunted by The Ghost of Christmas Presents? (C2)
• Contents Page (1)
• Ad for Christie's Auction of Original Mad Art
• Letters (2-3)
• Ad for Mad's Prehysterical 1993 Calendar
• Sergio Aragones Drawn-Out Dramas
  **various places around the magazine
• Sister Axed (movie satire)
  (written by Stan Hart / Mort Drucker art) (4-8)
• The Cretinous Cook's Concoction (Don (Duck) Edwing) (9)
• The Differences Between the 80's and the 90's
  (John Caldwell) (10-11)
• Spy vs. Spy - pogo schtick ceiling spikes
  (written by Don (Duck) Edwing / Bob Clarke art) (12)
• Greeting Cards That Keep Up With the Times
  (written by Frank Jacobs / Paul Coker, Jr. art) (13-15)
• Words of Warning That Your Life's Not Going So Well
  (written by Mike Snider / Jack Davis art) (16-17)
• Mad's Instant TV Reviews
  (written by Russ Cooper / Rick Tulka art) (18-19)
• The Wacky Washroom Whizbang (Don (Duck) Edwing) (20)
• Mad's Avalanche O' Catalogs (George Woodbridge art)
  (written by Charlie Kadau and Joe Raiola) (21-23)
• Mad's Mix 'N' Match Donahue/Oprah/Geraldo/
  Maury/Sally Jessy/Jane Guest & Topic Generator
  (written by John Caldwell / Gerry Gersten art) (24-25)
• Mad Proverbs Guaranteed to Leave 'em Speechless
  (written by Tom Koch / Al Jaffee art) (26-27)
• The Lighter Side of... (Dave Berg) (28-32)
• The Volatile Vegetable Vignette (Don (Duck) Edwing) (33)
• More Customer Satisfaction Surveys We'd Really Like to See (written by Cary Pepper / Harry North, Esq. art) (34-35)
• Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade Rejects
  (Paul Peter Porges) (36-37)
• Commemorative Stamps We'd Like to See (But Never Will!)
  (written by Frank Jacobs / Bob Clarke art) (38-39)
• A Mad Look at Tattoos (Sergio Aragones) (40-42)
• Patr*idiotic Games (movie satire)
  (written by Dick DeBartolo / Angelo Torres art) (43-47)
• The Mad Living Will (written by John Prete) (48)
• Fold-In --
  With the demise of the Soviet Fleet, what appears to
  be our Navy hotshots' latest target? (Al Jaffee) (C3)
• Back Cover -- Sasssy Magazine (Jacques Chenet photo)
  (written by Charlie Kadau and Joe Raiola)