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2013
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Mad #522 September 2013
Cover Artist:
Sergio Aragones
Cover Colorist:
Tom Luth
Cover Idea:
Michael Gallagher
Contents Page (
1
)
"
The sooner you figure out that looks can only get you so
far in life, the uglier you probably are!
" -- Alfred E. Neuman
Letters (tribute to
Bob Clarke
1926-2013) (
2-4
)
Ad For Subscriptions with
#94
bonus print (
5
)
Sergio Aragones
Drawn-Out Dramas (
summary
)
**various places around the magazine
The Fundalini Pages (
6-10
)
The Fast Five - The Reasons Behind
Kim Jong-Un's Threats to America
(written by
Matt Lassen
/
Sam Sisco
art)
Rejected Answers to: "How Happy Are People
Who Save $100 or More By Switching to Geico?"
(written by
Matt Lassen
/
Rick Geary
art)
Stupid Ideas Quickly Nixed By the New Pope
(
John Caldwell
)
Lines Edited Out of
Inferno
(written by
Jeff Kruse
)
Eckstein Marks the Spot! - "I will not tell the
media about our love affair." (
Bob Eckstein
)
Reality Show Mashups (
Maria Scrivan
)
Whitman's Anti-Anxiety Sampler
(written by
Evan Waite
/
Charles Akins
art)
The Faster Five - Signs Your Mayor Smokes Crack
(
Evan Dorkin
and
Sarah Dyer
art)
(written by
Kenny Keil
)
Rejected Fortune Cookies
The Hart of the Matt-er - dead fish and treasure
(written by
Matt Lassen
/
Tom Hart
art)
The Blackberry Z10 vs. The Progresso Black Bean
Soup String-Can Phone (written by
Neil Berliner
)
Celebrity Cause of Death Betting Odds - Jimmy Fallon
(
Rick Tulka
art)
AOL Start-Up Screens We'd Like to See
(written by
Jeff Kruse
)
Signs You're Too Fat to Receive the Death Penalty
(
Al Jaffee
art / color by
Carl Peterson
)
Recently Rejected Comics
(written by
Jeff Kruse
/
Adam Koford
art)
Toggle cover for large/small views
Toggle back cover for large/small views
proaaaaacktiv (ad parody)
(written by
Alison Grambs
/
Scott Bricher
art) (
11
)
The Slobbit - An Underedited Journey (movie satire)
(written by
Desmond Devlin
/
Tom Richmond
art) (
12-17
)
The Debt (with a apologies to
Edgar Allen Poe
's
The Bells
)
(written by
Frank Jacobs
/
Ward Sutton
art) (
18-19
)
Mad's Office Greeting Card Etiquette (written by
Ryan Pagelow
) (
20-21
)
A Mad Look At The Internet (
Sergio Aragones
/
Tom Luth
color) (
22-25
)
Brutally Honest Marriage Vows
(written by
Teresa Burns Parkhurst
/
Leonardo Rodriguez
art) (
26-27
)
Planet TAD!!!!! (written by
Tim Carvell
/
Brian Durniak
art) (
28-29
)
Spy vs. Spy - bed trap / building leaner (
Peter Kuper
) (
30-32
)
Ad for the first 23
comic book issues
of Mad (
33
)
Some of Your Pet's Peeves (
Teresa Burns Parkhurst
) (
34-35
)
The Mad Vault Article From
#273
--
Summer Has Arrived When... (written by
Tom Koch
/
Paul Coker, Jr.
art) (
36-38
)
The Strip Club
(
39-42
)
It Only Hurts When I Laugh (
Christopher Baldwin
)
How's My Driving? (
Nathan Cooper
)
WTF, Jeff? (written by
Kit Lively
/
Scott Nickel
art)
Father O'Flannity's Hot Tub Confessions with Ryan Seacrest (
Keith Knight
)
That Sinking Feeling (
Jason Yungbluth
)
Coombs & Coombs (
Jason Coates
)
Fantabulaman (
Ted Rall
)
Ad for
Disturbingly Awful Mad
book (
43
)
Overheard in Kim Kardashian's Delivery Room
(written by
Matt Lassen
/
Anton Emdin
art) (
44-45
)
Signs You Might Be Getting Catfished (written by
Kenny Keil
/
Kevin Pope
art) (
46-47
)
Ad for tons of Mad books (
48-49
)
Storage Boors (TV satire) (written by
Dick DeBartolo
/
Tom Bunk
art) (
50-54
)
Boy Scout Merit Badges for the Digital Age (written by
Kenny Keil
/
John Caldwell
) (
55
)
The Best of The Idiotical (stuff from Mad's blog) (
56
)
The Texter
Ben & Jerry's Impeach-Mint
A Justin Bieber Selfie We'd Like to See
Chris & Barack's Jersey Shore Memories 2013
Arguments O.J. Simpson's Lawyers Are Making For His Release
Fold-In -- What is the country's most realisitic hope of balancing the budget? (
Al Jaffee
) (
C3
)
Back Cover -- Barack Obama's Scandals Resort
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2013
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