MAD #458 — October 2005

"Politicians are always trying to convince you that they can solve the unemployment problem if you'll just give them a job!" — Alfred E. Neuman

Contents

• Contents Page
  1
• Letters and Tomatoes Dept.

  Notes

  • John Caldwell renders a Porta-Potty Bathroom Attendant, photo of John Caldwell, Teresa Burns Parkhurst and Paul Abitabile at the Albany Center Galleries, Albany, New York, showing of John Caldwell artwork
  2, 4, 6
• Drawn-Out Dramas

  Marginal Thinking Dept.

  Sergio Aragones
  (various places around the magazine)
• The Fundalini Pages

  Random Acts of Mindless Dept.

  Friends of Fundalini Notes

  • "Friends of Fundalini" list of contributors not originally attached to the articles in this section: Charles Akins, Scott Bricher, John Caldwell, Dick DeBartolo, L.P. Ferrante, Garth Gerhart, Jeff Kruse, Peter Kuper, Jacob Lambert, Scott Maiko, Hermann Mejia, Patrick Merrell, John Pound, Andrew J. Schwartzberg, Mike Snider, Ed Steckley, Jack Syracuse, P. C. Vey — DETAILS

  • A Cable News Director's Guide to Sorta Newsworthy vs. Very Newsworthy — Art by Ed Steckley
  • A Decade By Decade Gift Pyramid For Guys — Written by Andrew J. Schwartzberg / Art by Charles Akins
  • Desperate New Army Enticements to Get More People to Enlist — Art by Hermann Mejia
    Reprinted in 1 collection

    • The MAD War on Bush — 2007
  • Joke Set-Ups in Search of a Punchline (John Caldwell)
  • Celebrity Cause-of-Death Betting Odds — Lindsay Lohan — Written by Mike Snider / Art by Jack Syracuse
  • The Godfrey Report
  • Joke Set-Ups in Search of a Punchline (John Caldwell)
  • Classified Ads
  • Bitterman — sex education with old toys as visual aids (Garth Gerhart)
    Reprinted in 1 collection

    • MAD Classics #5 — February 2006
  • The Puzzle Nook — "---ty is the best policy" (Patrick Merrell)
  • Vey To Go! — "dinner's on the house" (P. C. Vey)
    Reprinted in 1 collection

    • MAD Classics #5 — February 2006
  • The President's Dog — tax cut for the rich (Peter Kuper)
  • Joke Set-Ups in Search of a Punchline (John Caldwell)
  • On Newstands Now! Nuns & Ammo — Written by L.P. Ferrante / Art by Scott Bricher
  • A Fundalini Exclusive! Now That the Secret Identity of Watergate's Deep Throat Has Been Revealed, Other Long-Held Secret Identities Exposed! — Written by Jeff Kruse / Art by John Pound
  8–10
• Selected Scenes from Trading Spouses - Special Animated Edition: Marge Simpson and Lois Griffin

  A Wife-Altering Experience Dept.

  Written by Charlie Kadau / Art by Gary Hallgren

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • MAD Classics #5 — February 2006
  12–14
• Planet TAD!!!!!

  In Blog We Trust Dept.

  Written by Tim Carvell / Art by Brian Durniak

  Reprinted in 2 collections

  • Epic MAD — 2012
  • Amazingly Stupid MAD — Expanded Edition — 2013
  16–17
• Little Green Army Men of Today's Army

  Soldiers of Misfortune Dept.

  Written by Darren Johnson / Photos by Irving Schild / Sculpture by Anthony Cipriano

  Reprinted in 2 collections

  • MAD Classics #5 — February 2006
  • The MAD War on Bush — 2007
  20–21 sample
• 7 Periods Closer to Death

  Rall or Nothing Dept.

  Ted Rall
  22
• A Day in the Life of Adam Sandler

  The Longest Yawn Dept.

  Written by Scott Maiko / Art by Drew Friedman
  24–25
• A MAD Look at School Security

  Serge-In General Dept.

  Sergio Aragones
  26–28
• Monroe and... The Hospital Stay

  Angster's Paradise Dept.

  Written by Anthony Barbieri / Art by Bill Wray
  33–35
• MAD's Exclusive Backstage Tour of The Family Guy

  Quahog Wild Dept.

  Written by David Richards / Art by Tom Richmond

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • MAD #49 — June 2026
  38–40
• If There Were No Such Things as Video Games...

  Out of Controllers Dept.

  John Caldwell
  42–43
• MAD's Fall TV Preview 2005

  Show-Floppers Dept.

  Written by Scott Maiko / Art by Hermann Mejia
  45–48
• Spy vs. Spy — cliff section releases

  Joke and Dagger Dept.

  Peter Kuper

  Reprinted in 2 collections

  • Spy Vs. Spy 2 — The Joke and Dagger Files — 2007
  • Spy vs. Spy — The Top Secret Files — 2011
  50
• Go Fetch!

  License to Shill Dept.

  Notes

  • Calvin and Hobbes parody art by Tom Nick Cocotos, Ad for MAD Kids, Ad for Subscriptions
  51, 52, 54
• Bore of the Worlds (movie satire)

  No Cruise is Good Cruise Dept.

  Written by Arnie Kogen / Art by Mort Drucker

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • MAD About the Movies — Director's Cut — 2008
  56–59
• Fold-In — What threat to our American way of life needs to be constantly checked?

  Al Jaffee

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • The MAD Fold-In Collection 1964–2010 — 2011
  C3