Mad #396 August 2000

• Cover Artist: Mort Drucker
• Cover Writer: John Caldwell

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• Subscriptions Ad
  (Roberto Parada art from Special #129) (C2)
• Pull My Cheney - Employees
  Must Wash Hands (Tom Cheney)
• Contents Page (1-3)
• "If we really learned from our past mistakes, most of us would never get out of bed in the morning!" -- Alfred E. Neuman
• Ad for Mad XL #5 - August 2000 - featuring
  Frank Jacobs's The Mad World of William M. Gaines - Part 5
• Letters and Tomatoes Dept. (4-5)
• Drawn-Out Dramas by Sergio AragonesMARGINAL THINKING DEPT. (summary)
  **various places around the magazine
• Mad's 50 Worst Things About TV article was reprinted in:
  Mad Classics #10 October 2006
  
  (written by Scott Maiko / Drew Friedman art) (6-10)
• A Mad Look at GladiatorsSERGE-IN GENERAL DEPT. (Sergio Aragones) (11-14)
• Monroe &... The High Seas - Part One ANGSTER'S PARADISE DEPT.
  
  article was reprinted in:
  Mad Classics #17 September 2007
  
  (written by Anthony Barbieri / Bill Wray art) (15-18)
• Quasi RiderTALES FROM THE DUCK SIDE DEPT.
  (written by Arie Kaplan / Don (Duck) Edwing art) (19)
• Johnson Family Garage Sale-O-Rama Catalog SLAM JUNK DEPT.
  
  article was reprinted in:
  Mad Classics #8 July 2006
  
  (written by Danno Sullivan / Leslie Sternbergh art) (20-21)
• Spy vs. Spy JOKE AND DAGGER DEPT.
  
  article was reprinted in:
  Spy Vs. Spy 2 - The Joke and Dagger Files - 2007 - missile in spy clothes
  (written by Dave Croatto / Peter Kuper art) (22-23)
• A More Factual Version of that Deceptive Home Depot Ad SLEUTH IN ADVERTISING DEPT.
  
  article was reprinted in:
  MADvertising - 2005
  Mad Classics #14 April 2007
  
  (written by Jacob Lambert / Irving Schild photos) (24-25)
• Kathie Lee Replacements We'll Never SeeHOSTESS STINKIES DEPT.
  (written by David Shayne and Joe Raiola)
  (Hermann Mejia art) (26-29)
• Little Known Contract Clauses of Today's Biggest Sports StarsWHO DEMAND? YOU DEMAND! DEPT. (John Caldwell art) (30-31)
• Tom Green - The Obnoxious Early YearsAND A CHILD SHALL PEEVE THEM DEPT.
  (written by Dave Croatto / Sam Sisco art) (32-34)
• The Comics Page of L'Osservatore Romano POPE-POURRI DEPT.
  
  article was reprinted in:
  Mad About Comic Strips - 2003
  (written by Desmond Devlin / Gary Hallgren art) (35-37)
• Letters to Magazines That We'll Never See MISSIVE IMPOSSIBLE DEPT.
  
  article was reprinted in:
  Mad Classics #3 November 2005
  
  (written by Mike Snider) (38-39)
• Words and Phrases That Left the
  English Language During the '90s HUMOR IN A VERNACULAR VEIN DEPT.
  
  article was reprinted in:
  Mad Classics #4 January 2006
  Totally Mad - 2012
  The Golden Treasury of Trash - Special Collector's Edition 2013
  Totally Inside Mad - 2016
  
  (written by Mike Snider / Paul Coker, Jr.) (40-41)
• Sofa's Choice TALES FROM THE DUCK SIDE DEPT.
  
  article was reprinted in:
  The Mad Gross Book - 2001 (Don (Duck) Edwing) (42)
• Angle THE VAMPIRE STRIKES BACK DEPT.
  
  article was reprinted in:
  Mad Classics #11 November 2006
  Horrifyingly Mad - 2011
  (TV satire)
  (written by Dick DeBartolo / Angelo Torres art) (43-47)
• Mad's Celebrity Cause-Of-Death Betting Odds:
  Elian GonzalezGRIEVING LAS VEGAS DEPT.
  (written by Mike Snider / Hermann Mejia art) (48)
• Fold-In -- Who's responsible for the ugliest
  acts of violence in sports today? article was reprinted in:
  Mad Classics #15 June 2007
  The Mad Fold-In Collection 1964-2010 - 2011
  (Al Jaffee) (C3)
• Back Cover -- The American Dream article was reprinted in:
  The Mad Gross Book - 2001
  Mad Classics #17 September 2007
  
  (written by Michael Gallagher / Tom Bunk art)