MAD #288 — July 1989

"As Sen. John Tower learned, dignity is something that can't be preserved with alcohol!" — Alfred E. Neuman

Contents

• Ad for Subscriptions — featuring MAD Buttons Bonus
  C2
• Contents Page
  1
• Letters and Tomatoes Dept.

  Notes

  • Photo of Dick DeBartolo with Alfred E. Neuman lookalikes, photo of cast of 21 Jump Street (including a young Johnny Depp) with #286, Ad for MAD Fantasy, Fables, and Other Foolishness by Don (Duck) Edwing Paperback
  2–3
• Drawn-Out Dramas

  Marginal Thinking Dept.

  Sergio Aragones
  (various places around the magazine)
• Twinge (movie satire)

  Ovary Indulgence Dept.

  Written by Stan Hart / Art by Mort Drucker

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • MAD Special #98 — Mid Summer 1994
  4–7
• A MAD Look at Self-Defense

  Serge-In General Dept.

  Sergio Aragones

  Reprinted in 3 collections

  • MAD Special #99 — Early Fall 1994
  • The MAD Bathroom Companion — 2000
  • The MAD Bathroom Companion — The Mother Load — 2004
  8–10
• New Comic Book Superheroes Based on Real People

  Titan-ing Some Nuts Dept.

  Written by Mike Snider / Art by Angelo Torres

  Reprinted in 2 collections

  • MAD Special #96 — Early Spring 1994
  • MAD #15 — October 2020
  11–15
• The Star Wars Defense System Can't Fail!

  In Clods We Trust Dept.

  Written by John S. Marshall / Art by Paul Coker, Jr.

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • MAD Special #98 — Mid Summer 1994
  16–17
• Leather Clothes Must be Worn — Poison song parody

  Frank on a Roll Dept.

  Written by Frank Jacobs / Art by Jack Davis

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • MAD Special #112 — April 1996
  18–19
• MAD Switcheroos

  From Bad to Reverse Dept.

  Written by Frank Jacobs / Art by Al Jaffee

  Reprinted in 3 collections

  • MAD Special #102 — March 1995
  • MAD XL #28 — July 2004
  • 1001 MAD Pages You Must Read Before You Die — 2009
  20–21 sample
• A MAD Guide to Lesser-Known Hollywood Tourist Traps

  Persons, Places and Stings Dept.

  Written by Mike Snider / Art by Bob Jones

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • MAD Special #98 — Mid Summer 1994
  22–23
• MAD's Heavy Metal Quiz

  Special Test Appearance Dept.

  Written by Chris Hart / Art by Rick Tulka

  Reprinted in 3 collections

  • MAD Special #112 — April 1996
  • The MAD Bathroom Companion — The Gushing Fourth Edition — 2004
  • MAD #13 — June 2020
  24–25
• Scientific Advances That Unimprove Our Lives

  Progress Retort Dept.

  Written by Tom Koch / Art by George Woodbridge

  Reprinted in 3 collections

  • MAD Special #96 — Early Spring 1994
  • The MAD Bathroom Companion — 2000
  • The MAD Bathroom Companion — The Mother Load — 2004
  26–27
• The Diabolical Dungeon Deception

  Tales From the Duck Side Dept.

  Don (Duck) Edwing

  Reprinted in 3 collections

  • MAD Special #107 — October 1995
  • The MAD Bathroom Companion — 2000
  • The MAD Bathroom Companion — The Mother Load — 2004
  28
• Lurking Girl (movie satire)

  From Rags to Bitches Dept.

  Written by Frank Jacobs / Art by Angelo Torres

  Reprinted in 2 collections

  • MAD Special #98 — Mid Summer 1994
  • MAD About The Oscars — 2004
  29–32 sample
• Spy vs. Spy — elevator doors slam down flat

  Joke and Dagger Dept.

  Written by Don (Duck) Edwing / Art by Bob Clarke

  Reprinted in 2 collections

  • MAD Special #98 — Mid Summer 1994
  • Spy Vs. Spy 2 — The Joke and Dagger Files — 2007
  33
• MAD's Cheap and Painless Methods for Overcoming Baldness at Little Expense and Even Less Pain

  Deceiving Hair Lines Dept.

  Paul Peter Porges

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • MAD Special #99 — Early Fall 1994
  34–35
• The Lighter Side of…

  Berg's-Eye View Dept.

  Dave Berg
  36–40
• Deceptive Ways to Get Junk Mail Senders to Excitedly Open Your Reply!

  An Embarrassment of Richard's Dept.

  Written by Dick DeBartolo
  41
• The Ghastly Gallows Good-Bye

  Tales From the Duck Side Dept.

  Don (Duck) Edwing

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • MAD Special #96 — Early Spring 1994
  42
• Dreary John (TV satire)

  May Divorce Be With You Dept.

  Written by Dick DeBartolo / Art by Sam Viviano

  Reprinted in 2 collections

  • MAD Special #107 — October 1995
  • 1001 MAD Pages You Must Read Before You Die — 2009
  43–47
• The Inconceivable Island Incident

  Tales From the Duck Side Dept.

  Don (Duck) Edwing

  Reprinted in 2 collections

  • MAD Special #99 — Early Fall 1994
  • MAD XL #28 — July 2004
  48
• Fold-In — What new exam will every student soon be required to pass?

  Al Jaffee

  Reprinted in 3 collections

  • MAD Special #116 — October 1996
  • MAD Fold This Book — 1997
  • The MAD Fold-In Collection 1964–2010 — 2011
  C3
• Back Cover — Metal Sludge Magazine

  Written by Charlie Kadau and Joe Raiola / Photos by Irving Schild (Lucifer and tongue photos)

  Reprinted in 3 collections

  • MAD Special #112 — April 1996
  • MAD About the Eighties — 1999
  • MAD Spoofs the '80s — Special Collector's Edition 2016
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