Mad #455 July 2005

• Cover Artist: Mark Fredrickson

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• Contents Page (1)
• "Parents are the ones who never listen to a word you say -
  until you mutter something under your breath!" -- Alfred E. Neuman
• Letters (2,4,6)
• Sergio Aragones Drawn-Out Dramas **various places around the magazine
• The Fundalini Pages (Ray Alma, Pranav Behari, Scott Bricher, John Caldwell, Dick DeBartolo,
  Garth Gerhart, Philip Kim, Scott Mendenhall, Mike Snider, Bob Staake, Jack Syracuse) (IMPORTANT NOTE) (8-10)
  • 12 Ways NASA Plans on Cutting the Costs of the Space Program
  • The Cover We Didn't Use - Holy Smoke! -
    Special Sinful Issue! (Pope selection) (Ray Alma art)
  • Celebrity Cause-of-Death Betting Odds - Donald Trump
    (written by Mike Snider / Jack Syracuse art)
  • Sundays at 9 on Al-Jazeera: Desperate Hamas Wives
  • Fundalini Foto News: Congress Gets Pumped Up About Steroids in Baseball
  • Updated Parental Warnings (Bob Staake art)
  • The Godfrey Report
  • A Mad Guide to Martha Stewart's Prison Tattoos (written by Scott Mendenhall)
  • The Fast 5 - Little-Known Facts About the Recent Conclave of Cardinals (John Caldwell)
  • Bitterman - "I had the biggest crush on you back then..." (Garth Gerhart)
• Battyman, Begone! (movie satire) (written by Desmond Devlin / Tom Richmond art) (12-18)
• Mad's CD Cover Doodles (Russ Cooper) (20-21)
• If the Star Wars Galaxy Had Classified Ads (written by David Shayne / Tom Bunk art) (22)
• A Mad Look at Summer Camp (Sergio Aragones) (24-28)
• Monroe and... Therapy (100th episode) (written by Anthony Barbieri / Bill Wray art) (33-36)
• Americans Who Just Missed Becoming Pope
  (written by Jeff Kruse / Hermann Mejia art) (38-39)
• New Books by Your Favorite Conservative Authors
  (written by Joe Raiola / Hermann Mejia and Scott Bricher art) (40-41)
• Spy vs. Spy - bathroom gun/hairdryer shock (Peter Kuper) (42)
• The Strip Club (49-51)
  • Rob - The Evil, Backstabbing Robot Temp (Corey Pandolph)
  • Jump Cut (Paul Gilligan)
  • Father O'Flannity's Hot Tub Confessions with Bono of U2 (Keith Knight)
  • The Comic With No Name (Mo Willems)
  • How Not to Get a 3rd Date! (Ryan Sias)
  • The Adventures of Fantabulaman (Ted Rall)
• Ad for Mad Survey with chance to win Spy vs. Spy Bookends (52)
• Mad's Inspirational Animal Stories (first in a series) - The Special Puppy
  (written by Brian McConnachie / Leonardo Rodriguez art) (53-55)
• Parental Double-Standards (written by David Shayne / Peter Bagge art) (56-57)
• Mad Sucker-Punches The Contender -
  A Knockout Collection of Outtakes (written by Mike Snider) (58-59)
• Ad for Subscriptions (Mark Fredrickson art from #434) (60)
• Fold-In -- What event is guaranteed to bring many Mad readers together this year? (Al Jaffee) (C3)