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A Pretentious Compendium of Mad's Very Best
Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions
by Al Jaffee - 1986

Toggle cover for large/small views A Pretentious Compendium of Mad's Very Best Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions
 
Toggle back cover for large/small views A Pretentious Compendium of Mad's Very Best Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions
 
Contains articles from his first five "Snappy" paperbacks (marked with their number).

Snappy #1
#1		 Snappy #2
#2		 Snappy #3
#3		 Snappy #4
#4		 Snappy #5
#5

Red = First Appearance of Original Material
  • What Famous People Said About This Book - #3

  • Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions
    • "Are you asleep?" - #1
    • "Are you going to paint the church?"
    • "Are you taking a bath?" - #2
    • "Are they twins?" - #1
    • "Is it OK to smoke?" - #1
    • "Where do you keep the ice cubes, Mary-Lou?" - #5
    • "Is this a smoking car?" - #2
    • "Is mushroom soup the soup of the day?"
    • "Are you laying floor tiles?" - #5
    • "Is it safe?" - #1

  • A Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions "Monster" Story - #4

  • Some Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions That Backfired
    • "Do you cut hair?" - #3
    • "Are you going to dive in the pool?" - #3
    • "Is everyone looking forward to vacation?" - #4
    • "Do you sell hot dogs?" - #5
    • "Is this my change?" - #5
    • "Are you going to smoke that?" - #4
    • "Did he grab your pocketbook?" - #4
    • "Do you have an appointment?" - #3

  • A Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions "Wild West" Story - #1

  • Some Very Unlikely Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions
    • "Were you scared?" - #1
    • "Hello - Can you hear me?" - #1
    • "What do you owe your long life to?" - #1

  • A Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions "Mountain" Story - #1

  • More Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions
    • "Did you hurt yourself?" - #4
    • "Are you sneezing?"
    • "Is that a cast?" - #5
    • "Did I do something wrong, officer?" - #1
    • "Going to hang a picture?"
    • "Trying to break out, eh?" - #1
    • "Are you moving in?" - #5
    • "Is this the post office?"
    • "Does this fit me, Myra?" - #5
    • "Lose something?" - #1
    • "Is this one of your little playmates?"

  • Some Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions You'd Better Keep to Yourself
    • "You're not afraid of dogs are you, Smedley?" - #2
    • "Need help?" - #2
    • "Having problems, Mr. Brenner?" - #2
    • "Need a hand, Rocky?" - #2
    • "Does my talking bother you, Baskins?" - #2
    • "Would you like something to eat?" - #2
    • "What are you up to?" - #2

  • A Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions "Golf" Story - #2

  • A "Fantasyland" Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions Travelogue
    • "Are you fighting a dragon, St. George?" - #2
    • "Are you Snow White?" - #3
    • "Are you a Wicked Witch?" - #3
    • "Did you fall down the hill, Jack and Jill?" - #3
    • "Did you meet a pie man, Simple Simon?" - #3
    • "Would you like me to change you back into a prince?" - #2
    • "Are you a genie?" - #2
    • "Hot enough for you?" - #2

  • An "Out of this World" Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions - #1

  • Still More Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions
    • "AHOY! Were you shipwrecked?" - #5
    • "Why do you want to marry my daughter?" - #1
    • "Do you frame pictures?" - #5
    • "Are you taking a picture?"
    • "Is this your boat?" - #3
    • "Been swimming?" - #1
    • "Are you a clown?"
    • "Are you going to sit over there?" - #2
    • "Having trouble?" - #2
    • "Are you going to throw a pass?"
    • "Are you falling asleep, Fred?" - #4
    • "Your kids?" - #1

  • Through History with Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions
    • "Are we going to fight the British, Sir." - #1
    • "Are we retreating from Moscow, Mon General?" - #1
    • "Come here, Watson - I need you." - #1
    • "Did we lose?" - #1
    • "Are you our daddy?" - #5
    • "Are you blowing that bugle?" - #5

  • A Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions "Desert Island" Adventure - #2

  • More Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions That Backfired
    • "Are you Mr. Fixit?" - #4
    • "Do you love me, Herman?" - #4
    • "Are you hitch-hiking to Boston?" - #4
    • "Hey, mac. Are you open?" - #5
    • "Your car for sale, Fred?" - #3
    • "Did you always want to be a burglar?" - #5
    • "Are you sunburned?" - #3
    • "Is this a bait shop?" - #5

  • A Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions "Backstage" Drama - #3
  • Back to Plain Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions
    • "Is our boat leaking?"
    • "Is that a skateboard?" - #4
    • "Are you listening to that radio?" - #2
    • "Knitting a scarf?" - #4
    • "Is this a pay phone?" - #5
    • "Growing tomatoes?"
    • "Did you sit in wet paint?" - #1
    • "Are you shaving?" - #4
    • "Got a leak?"
    • "Making mudpies?" - #2
    • "Is that your child?" - #5
    • "Is that your wife, sir?"

  • A Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions "Prison Break" - #3

  • Some Stinging Comebacks to Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions
    • "Goin' skating?" - #1
    • "Is that a gun?" - #2
    • "That wasn't bad, was it?" - #2
    • "Are you going to ride that horse?" - #4
    • "Are you cooking something, dear?"
    • "Care to dance?" - #1
    • "Going to wash your clothes?" - #4
    • "Are you the chef?" - #3
    • "Anything breakable in here?" - #2
    • "Is that you, Spencer?" - #1

  • A Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions "Spy" Adventure - #4

  • Back to More Plain Old Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions
    • "Do you carry clocks?" - #2
    • "Do you want this in the kitchen?"
    • "Are you watering the lawn?" - #5
    • "Are you going to vote?" - #1
    • "Now, that wasn't bad, was it?"
    • "Did the garlic give me bad breath?" - #2
    • "Are you cleaning that fish?" - #5
    • "Do you play the violin?"
    • "Building a sand castle?" - #3
    • "Did you catch that?" - #1
    • "Are you begging?"

  • A Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions "Airport" Event - #5

  • More Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions Through History
    • "Is this the latest military carriage, General Washington?" - #5
    • "Any last words your eminence?" - #5
    • "Are you Queen Isabella?" - #5
    • "Are we stuck, Admiral?" - #5
    • "Is this firewater potent, Chief?" - #5
    • "Did I mount incorrectly?" - #5
    • "Are they dancing?" - #5
    • "Is this an art gallery?" - #5
    • "Daddy, are they on parade?" - #5
    • "Were we hit?" - #5
    • "Are you shoeing the horse?" - #5
    • "Are ve here to attack das ramparts von das castle, mein general?"
    • "Is that a cow?"

  • A Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions "Wrestling" Presentation - #5

  • Good Lord! Not More Plain Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions
    • "Is this the zoo?" - #2
    • "Wow, did you shoot them?"
    • "Are you drunk?" - #1
    • "Is this coat the right size?" - #3
    • "Am I overweight, doctor?" - #3
    • "Is that your dog?" - #2
    • "Is it all right if we picnic here?"
    • "Are you typing?"
    • "Table for how many?" - #1
    • "Do you carry vitamins?" - #3
    • "Do you sell newspapers?"
    • "What's new?" - #1
    • "Have you been waiting long?" - #3
    • "Do you enjoy fishing?" - #5

  • More Stinging Comebacks to Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions
    • "Want a taxi?" - #2
    • "Would you like a haircut, sir?" - #2
    • "Is this Texas?" - #1
    • "Should I clean in here, m'am?" - #3
    • "Are you open for business? - #2
    • "Finished sir?" - #4
    • "Are you married?" - #1
    • "Buying a hat?" - #4
    • "Are you reading this magazine?" - #3

  • A Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions "Snow" Job - #5

  • At Last! The Last of Plain Old Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions
    • "Is it a good show?" - #3
    • "Changing a flat?" - #2
    • "Are you trying to open the window?" - #3
    • "Going sailing?"
    • "Is he your father?" - #3
    • "Is it quicksand?" - #1
    • "Are you ironing?"
    • "Are you watching TV?" - #4
    • "Oh, did I do that?" - #4
    • "Are you the driver of this bus?"
    • "Are you taking a shower?" - #3
    • "Are you brushing your teeth?" - #3

  • A Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions "Happy Ending" - #1
    (shows covers of Jaffee's nine Mad paperbacks to this point)

  • Is this the end of the book? - #4
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